Pigeon Holed part 1

I was talking to my friend M. Yesterday and he started to say some things that sounded very familiar to me.  He started talking about how he was going to start taking animation classes soon and start his own web cartoon.  He followed it up by saying “I need more than what I have right now”.

For a little history, M. And I went to school together, lived together after we graduated, and started Rival Comics together.  Our first published webcomic was a story called OMNI that we were making together.  Since, we’ve both grown up, got married and had a couple of kids.  He left town and joined the Air Force and I stayed here to…well, whatever I stayed here for.  Naturally, our creative and artistic endeavors went on the back burner as work and family went to the forefront.

After a while I started to feel the same way he was describing.  It wasn’t that I didn’t love my family, it was just that I felt that something was missing.  Like I didn’t like what I did for a living and it was detrimental to my life at home.  As a result of this empty feeling, I went on a strange quest to find myself which included interviewing for the federal government, going back to school to try to finish my criminal justice degree, and finally relaunching my webcomic site, Rival Comics.

The relaunch of Rival was the most fulfilling as I launched a fairly successful comic called Captive, which was an excellent opportunity to get back to first love: art.  This was also great because it rekindled conversation between myself and M. And got us both very excited for things to come.  Sadly, I had to eventually face reality and realize I simply did not have the time to keep up with all of the artwork and maintaining the blog and podcast that were added to the site, and balance my work and family time.  The site met it’s inevitable demise, and I felt like a failure.  Worse yet, I let M. Down after building hope that Rival was coming back and that it was here to stay.

This has been apparent for some time as he would randomly text with a story idea, and I felt to guilty to reply because, although I desperately wanted to continue working on the comics, I knew it would cause more damage to my family than it was worth.  The empty feeling crept back in.

Continued tomorrow in Pigeon Holed part 2

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